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San Jacinto, Nicaragua

hacienda-sj
This postcard is a shot I took from the road El Timal, Tipitapa, Nicaragua during a rainstorm. For a brief moment the rain moved between the San Jacinto hill and the mountains behind. The sun shone a ray directly on the hill highlighting it from the rest of the surrounding area.

That’s the only time I have seen conditions perfect enough to see Hacienda San Jacinto with such clarity. Below is the original shot taken with an iPhone 5s. It’s 7mb so don’t be surprised if it is still loading.

Hacienda San Jacinto

 

Surfing turtles in Chacocente Nicaragua

Have you ever seen a surfing turtle? Little-known faq: sea turtles are nature’s surfboards and many ride the waves in to shore when it’s time to lay eggs on the beach. And did you know that there is even an underground sport dedicated to riding these surfing turtles? It’s called “tortugaling” and is taking the wave riding scene by storm. And in Nicaragua the Chacocente natural reserve is the place to do it.

surfing turtlesHow to surf a surfing turtle

Surfing turtles isn’t as easy as teenage mutant ninjas make it look. In fact, surfing isn’t even the proper term for it since it’s really bodyboarding. But the idea is to paddle out (preferably with a buddy because safety is no accident) just past the breakers and wait for your ride to come to you. In Chacocente both the waves and the turtles are in your favor; the barrels are consistent and the turtles number in the hundreds on a bad night. Oh yes, and that’s the other exciting element that adds to the adventure. Surfing turtles is a nighttime activity since the turtles like to give birth with some semblance of privacy.

So there you are, just before the wave starts and surrounded by turtle backs. Choose a big one and swim up to its side. Grab on to its shell where its shoulders would be and hang on. Sea turtles are docile creatures and especially so when their bellies are full of eggs and they are getting ready to drop in on a gnarly left-hand break. Most turtles won’t even notice the extra baggage. As the turtle lines up on the wave make sure you spread your legs to balance your weight evenly as the animal picks up speed. Hook your feet over the “ankles” of your surfing turtle’s flippers and enjoy the ride.

See Clark Little’s photos of turtles surfing in Hawaii

Most turtles surf at a relative angle to the waves which puts them closer to shore with less wave crashing on their heads. At Chacocente you can get a good 20-second ride when the tide is right. When the turtle slows down and the ride comes to an end, make sure to float off the animal and let them finish their nightly journey  uninterrupted to shore. And remember to not shine bright flashlights in their eyes or use a flash if taking a photo because the light bothers their eyes. These majestic animals are protected and the guardaparques at Chacocente might get upset if they see you disturbing the animals.

How to get to Chacocente

The Chacocente reserve is a green spot on the southwestern area of the map of Nicaragua.  Hundreds of sea turtles make their egg-laying pilgrimage between June and October with the peaks happening during high tide on a new moon. The easiest way to get there is to follow a map and the signs.

Chacocente prices

relief map of chacocente

IMG_1119

 

Are you brave enough to ride a bus in Nicaragua?

I live in Managua, work in Veracruz and take the bus from and to the Huembes terminal nearly every day. To get there I ride the Tipitapa bus that passes by the closest stop from my house. I have been taking this route for about a year and a half. And so far I have lived to tell the tale.

bus in huembes terminal in managua, nicaragua
While most days are gratefully boring, there have been a few things I won’t forget. Here’s a breakdown of what I have seen:

1 fistfight

62 people giving speeches before asking for money

1 loud argument between a money asker and a very religious lady

54 near misses with other vehicles

0 accidents

1 near miss that sent a girl flying into the front of the bus while holding her baby

4 times pulled over be the cops

1 drunk pandillero whipped with a belt by another pandillero while a policeman looked on from his seat

2 drunks kicked off (both for making rude advances on women)

1 phone pickpocketed (mine)

8 dogs, 4 chickens, 1 pig, 1 turkey

125 people on a bus built for 52

Keep in mind I am not including things I have experienced on rural buses in Nicaragua (I would have to include iguanas, parrots and riding on the roof). While somewhat out of the ordinary for most folks on their daily work route, it’s really not more surprising than what I used to see on public transit in the United States.

Well, I never saw anyone carrying a live turkey on the bus in the US.

But two hours of transit round trip in a public bus for $0.80 vs. $15 in a private taxi? I’ll take the bus, thanks.

(This post was written on my phone while riding the bus.)

Town Crier: Pepe the goat arrested!

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

 

Rest easy, Esteli. Pepe the notebook-eating goat is under arrest.

pepe the goatIt took a full police operation of a truck filled with cops but Pepe the pesky goat has finally been nabbed. The goat has been terrorizing a local school in Esteli by running in and eating students’ notebooks. This is not the first time a menacing goat has been a public nuisance in Nicaragua. In years past there were reports of other goats butting women in the legs in Esteli.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/sucesos/389985-cae-pepe-cabra-que-se-comia-cuadernos/

 

Horse gets tired of pulling cart, kicks the driver

otroA horse cart driver in Managua learned to take care of his motor after the horse pulling his cart got sick of being treated like a Managua horse cart puller and flipped the vehicle over. The enraged horse then kicked the driver in the head.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/289384-caballo-enfurecido-causa-accidente-amo/

 

Zoo of New England working to save the Tapir in Nicaragua

Nicaragua’s tapir population is in significant decline due to habitat loss and hunting and the Zoo of New England has teamed up with Global Wildlife Conservation to help fight the problem with… a pamphlet. Rest easy, tapirs, it’s a really nice pamphlet. Seriously though, the GWC part is headed here by Chris Jordan, perhaps the only white guy who knows the Caribbean coast better than me. He’s a solid guy. And if anyone can make it work, he can. Good luck!
http://100noticias.com.ni/zoologico-de-boston-pretende-evitar-extincion-del-danto-en-el-pais/

 

School roof collapses in Bilwi

roof collapse in bilwiThe roof came crashing down on a school that was in session in Bilwi. Luckily the accident happened during recess but dozens of kids were treated for minor injuries.
C’mon MINED, get your shit together.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/290410-bilwi-techo-escuela-se-desploma/

 

Earthbag school nearly 30% funded

The organization I work for, Seeds of Learning, is working on a crowd funding campaign to build a new school in El Jicarito, Tipitapa. The roof is guaranteed NOT to collapse because it is designed with earth bag walls, an stronger and cheaper alternative to adobe, blocks and cement. Even if you aren’t interested in donating, check out link below to get a better idea of the cool stuff we are doing in Nicaragua. If you like it, share it!
https://igg.me/at/ElJicaritoSchool/x

 

Nica busted in Tica land for fishing illegally

An undocumented Nica guy was busted fishing without a license in Costa Rica. He was accompanied by two Ticos. The cops confiscated 27 conchs, 3 lobsters, a speargun and diving equipment.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/04/13/nica-detenido-pescar-ilegalmente/

 

Shipwrecked Nica one of three rescued in CR waters

Three guys were picked up by the Tico coast guard after their boat sank. One of the three was a Nicaraguan living in the country. Reasons for boat taking on water weren’t clear, though they assured everyone they were certainly not fishing illegally. *wink, wink*
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/04/14/rescatan-a-naufrago-nicaraguense-en-aguas-costarricenses/

 

Nicas busted with counterfeit bills

Two Nicaraguan couples were busted changing counterfeit Tico bills on the bus in Costa Rica. They were caught after an alert was issued for people making it rain at the local market. With fake bills.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/04/13/capturan-nicas-billetes-falsos-costa-rica/

 

HKND to plant a half million trees once the rainy season hits

Bill Wild, HKND canal bigwig, said that they will soon plant 250,000 trees along the outer reaches of the canal route as soon as the rains come. Once the first phase is complete, they will plant another 250k to make half a million trees planted in hopes of offsetting the damage that will be done by razing the landscape along the canal’s 172 mile route.
http://100noticias.com.ni/hknd-plantaran-250-mil-arboles-a-lo-largo-del-pais/

 

Immigration officer busted for stamping false passport for $600

A former immigration officer took $600 in bribe money to stamp a fake passport for a guy from the Dominican Republic. The guy with the fake passport was later busted at the Nica/CR border and the stamp was discovered there. After a little bit of interrogation everyone came clean. The immigration officer is facing human trafficking charges.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/04/10/nacionales/2015774-2015774

 

Sandy Bay wants the cops OUT of their town

The indigenous Miskito population of Sandy Bay is tired of the police and want them out. The cops recently killed a guy after an altercation in the local baseball field, and the inhabitants say that if the police don’t leave there will be more confrontations.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/04/10/departamentales/2015801-2015801

 

Indigenous leaders upset over Nica’s land deal with Russia

Nicaragua recently signed a deal with Russia to invest in farming and other projects throughout the country. Local indigenous leaders are upset, calling the deal “obscene” because they have been fighting for decades to claim their territorial lands from the government.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/04/10/nacionales/2015936-2015936

 

Guy gets drunk, jumps off bridge and lives

bridge in muelle de los bueyesA 23-year old guys suffered major head damage after jumping off the 80-meter high bridge in Muelle de los Bueyes. It’s a miracle he survived because the bridge spans only a trickle of water. The kid was drunk, so who knows. That might have saved his life.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/288823-joven-lanza-puente-rio-mico-en-muelle-bueye/

 

Tornado destroys 3 houses in Leon

A tornado (probably a dust devil) ripped through a poor region of Leon ripping the roofs off three houses and causing at least on to collapse. Two of the houses belong to single mothers. The Sandanista Youth organization went into action donating ten sheets of roofing material and some much needed help to get their houses repaired.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/289344-tornado-se-lleva-techo-tres-viviendas-leon/

 

Managua traffic is gonna suck until 2022

Managua has announced $200 million in roadway improvements scheduled to be in progress until 2022. The grand plan includes 9 overpasses and 35km of roadway. The article also says that each day there are 350,000 vehicles that are battling their way through town. A while back I read that each year brings another 20k cars to the city, so by the time the the roadworks are finished it will be time to start again.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/managua/389863-planean-invertir-us-200-millones-red-vial/

French hiker survives nearly two days on Cosiguina

dirty french hikerThis french guy decided to hike to the top of Cosiguina volcano with only a liter of water and finally returned after being lost for 42 hours. During the hike he tripped and fell down a scree field, hurt his leg and became disoriented. He finally found a cabin where the local guy gave him some food and water.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/04/12/frances-vivio-travesia-volcan-cosiguina/

 

US guy missing after meeting up with Nica woman

A guy from the states met a woman on facebook and flew down to meet her. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been heard from since. Article is in English:
http://www.caribbeannewsnow.com/topstory-US-citizen-missing-in-Nicaragua-30030.html

 

Two fugitives escape from custody in Matagalpa

A coupla prisoners busted for robbery escaped police custody after leaving the courthouse clinic in Matagalpa. The fugitives took off running and ducking through alleyways in the direction of the highway. No word yet on if they have been caught.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/04/14/departamentales/2018386-huyen-dos-reos-matagalpa

 

Nica barista to compete international coffee making competition

A local coffee barista who won the national barista competition is on his way to Ireland to compete in the International Barista Competition. The proud coffee server says he learned by doing and wants to make a name for Nicaragua in the barista circle.
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/290604-barista-nicaraguense-concursar-irlanda/

 

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Town Crier: Baby tigers, Russian projects and Secrets of Love??

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last 2 weeks:

 

The Good

Mother and daughter reunite after 73 years of separation

Family violence separated mother from daughter a few years after she was born and mom never forgot about the little girl she had to leave behind. That was in the 1940s. Now the daughter, 76, and the mother, 98, have reunited thanks to a friend of the daughter who did some investigation into the case.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/sucesos/389512-madre-e-hija-se-abrazan-73-anos-separadas/

 

Three baby tigers born at the circus in Camoapa

baby tigers in nicaragua

Wait, what?

Yes, three tigers were born in captivity in the Renato circus, a Mexican outfit that says this is the 8th generation of tigers born in their circus. Two were the regular ol orange kind and one was a striking white tiger.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/389393-nacen-tres-tigres-bengala-circo-que-recorre-nicara/

 

120 buses in Managua now equipped with GPS

The opening sentence in the article says, “Goodbye, fast and furious.” The local buses will be able to be tracked by satellite to monitor their speed and, somehow, the number of passengers. They are also installing an emergency button that can be pressed in case of robbery or a wreck.
http://100noticias.com.ni/instalan-gps-en-120-buses/

 

Red French senior citizens cycle through Nicaragua

red french cyclists

A aging foreign legion of bicycling tourists entered the country this week in their journey through Central America. The 50-strong cyclists, averaging 65 years young, will be passing through the major cities on their way south to Panama.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/389488-grupo-ciclistas-franceses-llega-nicaragua-expedici/

 

Government announces joint projects with Russia

Russia will be helping out Nicaragua in a big way with projects such as extending the airport and supplying planes to start up a national airline, as well as others. The projects will start with a $100 million investment with a repayment plan of 40 years.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/287202-rusia-nicaragua-anuncian-importantes-proyectos/

 

International Monetary Fund closes doors in Nicaragua

That’s right, the IMF is out. They say they have done such a good job that there is no reason to stay. The IMF entered the country in 1995 to work to alleviate poverty and debt in the war-torn aftermath of the 80s. Now it says that with 4% growth year on end, there is no need to do what the country can do on its own. Grow!
http://www.ticotimes.net/2016/03/30/imf-nicaragua-says-job-done-closes-office

 

Acahualinca footprints museum to be reconstructed

The Managua-famous museum dedicated to the discovery of 6,000 year-old footprints that was destroyed after flash flooding last year will be reconstructed bigger and better than ever. No timeline on that. Perhaps another 6,000 years?
http://100noticias.com.ni/museo-huellas-de-acahualinca-seran-reconstruidas/

 

Local NGO building revolutionary school with superadobe


The organization I work for, Seeds of Learning, is planning to build an elementary school for kids living in El Jicarito, Tipitapa. The school will be constructed using a natural earth method relatively new to the area called superadobe. We are seeking donations though indiegogo.com to help fund the project. It is really an amazing design that incorporates learning both in and from the school. If you love the Town Crier, if you love Nicaragua and if you love kids, consider helping out with this project!
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/el-jicarito-school#/

 

The Bad

US visa scammer gets 30 years in the clink

A guy who falsified 4 US visas for people thinking they were actually paying for real visas was sentenced to 30 years behind bars and fined C$85,080 for his deed. He was charged with human trafficking and organized crime.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/388820-dictan-pena-maxima-estafador-visas-estadounidenses/

 

Dead man found in hotel “Secrets of Love”

A man entered the autohotel “Secrets of Love” in Managua in the evening with two lovely ladies and left the next day in a body bag. Hotel staff entered to clean in the morning and found a bigger mess than they were expecting. There were no outward signs of trauma but an autopsy will be done to help determine the cause of death. While a broken heart has been ruled out, an overdose of viagra has not.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/sucesos/388821-encuentran-muerto-hombre-autohotel-managua/

 

On the lam for 20 years and caught in Nicaragua

A guy accused of a multimillion dollar medicare scam back in the states was finally caught in Nicaragua. He was originally caught in Miami, released on bail with the promise to not leave the area and of course split to Mexico. The full article is in English:
http://www.heraldcourier.com/news/national/miami-fugitive-on-run-for-years-found-in-nicaragua/article_ec2fc341-87b1-5296-b5fe-f33146e66547.html

 

Lake Nicaragua unseasonably low for this time of year

lake nicaragua at record lowsOl trusty Lake Nicaragua has been dropping her level down to near record lows due to the drought that has stricken the country in the last three years. If only there were a grand canal that could sav- oh, nevermind.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/30/gran-lago-de-nicaragua-desciende-considerablemente-su-nivel/

 

The Ugly

National morgue overflowing with cadavers

The Institute of Legal Medicine aka the national morgue says bodies are stacking up and they have no place to put them. They have the capacity to store 15 dead bodies and say that sometimes they get that many in a day. Families have three months to claim a body. Unclaimed bodies get taken care of in an unspecified way. Probably sent to the carniceria in Oriental.
http://100noticias.com.ni/exceso-de-cadaveres-olvidados-en-morgue-de-medicina-legal/

 

Drunk guy spins into motorcycle, drops them both

Link to video: https://youtu.be/cxlUSXfxwU4

Drunk guy causes moto to drop its two passengers in Five Pines, Chinandega. Surprisingly the guys don’t seem that upset. And of course the drunk guy didn’t even notice.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/287102-video-bolo-vuelta-trompo-ser-atropellado/

 

10,000 mentions of “Nicaragua” in the Panama Papers leak

The headline says it all. This comes translated on by buddy Mike’s website, El Porton Verde. Originally from confidencial.com.ni but this link is to the English version:
http://www.elportonverde.com/2016/04/05/10000-mentions-of-nicaragua-in-the-panama-papers/

 

Tumarin hydropower project: fail.

Looks like the Tumarin dam and hydro project can be added to the list of awesome mega projects that don’t get finished. The hydropower project was calculated to meet the demand of 25% of the country’s energy needs when it was finished. But, I guess now it’s done, but not finished.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/04/08/nacionales/2014811-proyecto-hidroelectrico-tumarin-esta-en-jaque-mate

 

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Town Crier: Semana Santa Edition

Insane partying in Nicaragua

Dozens dead.

Hundreds saved.

Jesus rose to the occasion on Easter. Did you?

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

 

Daaamn Casey, you so lazy!

I know, I know, it’s been three weeks since your last Town Crier update. But these last three weeks have been incredibly busy for me and I haven’t had the 6 – 8 hours to read through a weeks-worth of Nica news from the six news sites I scan and then put the newsletter together. But hopefully we are back on track so here it is:

Semana Santa Edition

Top Stories

62 deaths during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

From Sunday to Easter there were an estimated 62 deaths in the country. Broken down that comes out to 27 deaths from traffic accidents, 24 deaths by drowning and 11 deaths by homicide. In total there were 526 traffic accidents registered. I hope your Holy Week was better than theirs was.
http://100noticias.com.ni/estiman-62-muertos-en-semana-santa-en-nicaragua/

 

250 lives saved by lifeguards during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

Give a high five to a socorrista next time you see one. Over 2,000 volunteers registered 250 lives saved from drowning in Nicaragua during the Holy Week.
http://100noticias.com.ni/socorristas-han-rescatado-con-vida-a-250-personas-en-nicaragua/

 

2,00,000 people partied in Nicaragua during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

hordes of people peeing in the poolThe first lady Rosario Murillo said that over two million people went on vacation during the Holy Week. Most of them went to the beaches, lakes and rivers of Nicaragua.
http://100noticias.com.ni/semana-santa-movilizo-a-mas-de-2-millones-de-personas-en-nicaragua/

Guide to Festivals and Events in Nicaragua, revised and updated

ncx cover mock book v2With over 200+ festivals listed by dates in the guide, you can bet there is something going on somewhere just about any day of the week. Some last one day, some last three months. All are fascinating and a great way to see the real Nicaragua. And by purchasing the guide book you support this newsletter because yours truly wrote the book! Check it out:
http://nicaconexiones.com/ncx-guide-to-festivals-and-events-in-nicaragua/

 

Bottom Stories

National Geographic to film documentary about Masaya Volcano

Everybody’s favorite nature/culture/science magazine, National Geographic, will be spending seven days exploring the lava lake in volcan Masaya’s Santiago crater. The national park remains closed to the public due to an increased level of activity.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/27/llega-a-nicaragua-equipo-de-national-geographic/

 

Fireworks workshop explodes, 3 dead

A homemade fireworks workshop that specialized in rockets to scare away birds from sorghum and corn fields in Tipitapa exploded, completely carbonizing two people. The owner later succumbed to her wounds several days later.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/23/explota-fabrica-cohetes/

 

Suicide declared for dead woman found with bag over her head

Blonde haired and blue eyed in Nicaragua, María Angélica Chamorro was considered to be a stunner when she left her home in Managua. That’s where she was found with a bag over her head and slash marks on her wrist in what the police have declared was a apparent suicide.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/24/policia-muerte-maria-angelica-chamorro/

 

Ministry of Health sniffs out nearly 28 thousand expired foods

In a Holy Week campaign of good health, the MINSA did inspections of products for sale in stores, restaurants and bars and tossed out 27,898 food products that had expired in over 16 thousand inspections around the country. Now if they can only get those establishments to put seats on the toilets we would be in good shape.
http://100noticias.com.ni/minsa-decomiso-alrededor-de-27-mil-productos-vencidos/

 

Forest fires!

There were a number of fires out of control this week, and if you were in Managua or Ticuantepe maybe you saw the one up on the hill raging toward El Crucero:
http://100noticias.com.ni/en-el-crucero-hay-un-incedio-que-obstaculiza-la-visibilidad-de-los-conductores/

Or the one in Laguna Nejapa on the edge of Managua:
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/03/23/nacionales/2007018-incendio-en-laguna-de-nejapa-y-cerro-motastepe

Or up north in Dipilto:
http://100noticias.com.ni/incendio-en-cerro-la-coquimba-en-dipilto-amenaza-a-bosque/

Or down in Nandaime:
http://100noticias.com.ni/incendio-consume-200-en-hectareas-en-nandaime/

 

Drunk not dead guy mistaken for real dead guy

Im drunk, not dead

A drunk guy who decided to take a nap in a cesspool in a street in Managua started local residents who thought he had fallen in and drowned. Turned out he was just tired and found a comfortable place to snooze in the hot summer sun. Residents pulled him out and laid him down on the sidewalk so he wouldn’t get run over.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/02/se-queda-dormido-hoyo-agua/

 

Surf photographer gets gear stolen

Story is in English: http://www.surfline.com/surf-news/trio-of-bandits-ambush-expat-surf-photographer-rick-briggs-at-chacocente-stealing-his-cameras-and-gear-surf-ph_136912/

 

Two brothers lost in El Hoyo, one dies

A coupla local brothers took a hike up to El Hoyo and got lost, prompting a search by the red cross. They were eventually found a day or two later (story isn’t clear), and one was suffering from extreme dehydration and later died.
http://100noticias.com.ni/muere-uno-de-los-hermanos-hallados-en-el-cerro-el-hoyo/

 

Killer bees go nuts in Monimbo

Masaya’s indigenous barrio of Monimbo became the setting for quite a spectacle when workers from the electric company accidentally disturbed a nest of killer bees. They attacked the workers, passers by, women, children and everyone within a block of where the nest was. Several people including an elderly woman were treated for severe stings.
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/281390-abejas-causan-pavor-barrio-monimbo-masaya/

 

Jordanian guy admits to intercepting calls, faces years in jail

A guy from Jordan who had been posted up in a local hotel in Managua was face to face with the judge for intercepting and making (?) phone calls illegally. The articles says he owes Claro $34k and Movistar $35k for the crimes, plus up to six years in the slammer.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/20/jordano-admite-haber-instalado-telepuerto-ilegal/

 

Police are looking for Van Damme in connection with murder

Cops in Tipitapa are looking for a subject that goes by the name “Van Damme” for his connection with the murder of a woman in El Tima, Tipitapa. Apparently like Van Damme, the guy knows how to split.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/10/buscan-van-damme-crimen-timal/

 

Guy on tricycle steals stack of plastic chairs

link to video: https://youtu.be/VkBEFL9CvFA?t=59s

Tipitapa, the city of annoying tricycle taxis, gives us another reason why they are so annoying. This security camera footage shows a triciclero stopping by a hardware store and picking up a dozen plastic chairs…without paying for them. Shop owners still don’t know why this guy hasn’t been caught yet.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/276450-tricilero-tipitapa-ejecuta-robo-descarado-video/

 

Motorcyclist who crashed into motorcycle cop dies under mysterious circumstances

A motorcycle cop and a guy on a motorcycle had a head-on in Esteli which unfortunately took the life of the officer and sent the other guy to the hospital a few weeks ago. The hospitalized man later died in what the family suggests was rather suspicious. The article goes on to say that an armed, unknown man visited the victim several times which alarmed the guard. And just before he died, the nurse who had routinely given him his daily injections said to the family member by the victim’s side that after this injection the man would be in pain and vomit, “just so you know.” That is exactly what happened before the victim died five minutes later.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/272704-esteli-fallece-motociclista-provoco-muerte-policia/ 

 

Two of three sisters die after bails of hay fall from a passing truck

Two of three sisters passed away after bails of hay flew off a passing truck, crushing them as they were returning home from church. The tragedy happened on km15 of the old Leon highway. Apparently the 17-year-old truck driver had secured the bails of hay with thin ropes which snapped.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/03/tres-hermanas-regresaban-culto-pacas-zacate-les-caen/

 

Family of five on a moto

moto-familia

Seen on the way between Chinandega and Somotillo.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/03/02/cinco-en-una-moto-en-chinandega/

 

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Town Crier: Is Nicaragua going to explode?

Five volcanoes active; Nica accused of murdering family in CR, American deported TO Nicaragua, 8,000 inmates released from jail and waaay more!

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

 

Top Stories

There are 5 volcanoes popping off right now

5 active volcanoes in Nicaragua

  1. Masaya, 2. Momotombo, 3. Telica, 4. Concepcion, 5. San Cristobal
    http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/386009-cinco-volcanes-actividad/

 

Nica guy accused of murdering family of 5 in CR caught

And he was caught in Nicaragua! The story is in English so I will let you read the gory details:
https://www.ticotimes.net/2016/02/19/suspect-in-slaying-of-us-costa-rican-family-captured-in-nicaragua

 

American guy deported to Nicaragua in weird slipup by the US gov.

This guy was deported to Nicaragua for being in the United States illegally back in 2009. Problem was that he carried a valid US passport because, well, he is an American citizen. Read more about his situation and help him get back on his feet here:
https://www.gofundme.com/cesarrobleto

 

Bottom Stories

8 colonists detained for moving into, selling out Rio Indio reserve

It isn’t just the Bosawas reserve that is under threat by people moving east. The virtually untouched Rio Indio/Maiz reserve has been bombarded lately by groups of opportunistic land grabbers and poor farmers who are slashing, burning and selling tracts of land illegally. Last week eight of them were detained. One environmental group estimates between 10 -20 families move into the reserve daily. So sorry Rama Indians, it may be your land but the colonists are stealing it out from under you.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/23/departamentales/1990962-detienen-a-ocho-nicaraguenses-por-invadir-reserva-indio-maiz

 

Guy tries to buckle daughter’s seatbelt while driving, flips car

car flips while driver tries to put on seatbelt of passenger

The unlucky driver of the unlucky car smashed into another unlucky car and flipped over after trying to buckle the seatbelt of his daughter while driving. Nobody was hurt but everyone was a bit shaken. Managua drivers.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/271767-abrochar-cinturon-seguridad-hija-se-volco/

Couple who work with Nica Democratic Movement stabbed

A husband and wife who work with the Nicaraguan Democratic Movement were stabbed after a group of five men waited for them to leave their house in Managua. The husband remains in critical condition and the wife, though stabbed in the head, was released. The suspect it had political motives.
http://100noticias.com.ni/acuchillan-a-activistas-del-movimiento-democratico-nicaraguense/

 

Nica gov’t makes space by freeing 8,000 inmates from JAIL

About 8,000 prisoners were given their pink slips and let go from their jobs printing license plates to make room for a new crop of jailbirds. The prison system was at 106% capacity, now they have dropped it down to at least 105.5%.
http://100noticias.com.ni/magistrado-defiende-legalidad-en-liberacion-de-reos/

 

Indecisive couple on moto smash into decisive guy on moto

A horny guy trying to convince his girl to go with him to an auto-hotel made a bad turn and were smashed into by another guy on a motorcycle. Seems horny guy and the girl couldn’t decide on whether to enter the hotel. They passed it up, returned and passed it up again, turned around and didn’t see the other bike. Smash. The girl was seriously injured and went to the hospital. The horny guy was so mad he started beating the other biker with a chain and threatened to kill him if his girl died.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/270666-esteli-accidente-indecision-entrar-motel/

 

Guide to Nicaraguan residency. Yes you can do it!

residency in Nicaragua

You don’t need expensive lawyers or thousands of dollars in investments or even to marry a Nicaraguan to get residency. The process is actually straightforward and this guide tells you how to do it.
http://nicaconexiones.com/this-is-how-you-get-nicaraguan-residency/

 

One cop dead, three wounded in ambush in Jinotega

A group of police officers were ambushed while on patrol in Jinotega by a group of badguys who left one dead and three injured.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/26/policia-muere-emboscada-grupo-delincuencial/

 

Elderly woman out to buy minutes runs out of time after moto hits her

An 84-year-old woman was struck by a motorcycle while walking in the road to get minutes for her phone in Carazo. The impact was so hard that her leg flew off and was found in a neighbor’s yard. The lady was struck after the moto tried to pass a truck.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/25/anciano-iba-recarga-encuentra-la-muerte/

 

Bomb mistaken for trash explodes after lady throws it in her garbage fire

Actually there were FOUR bombs, all left over from the war, that were in that lady’s garbage. Luckily only one exploded and nobody was hurt. But how did they get there? Turns out a group of kids found them and threw them in the lady’s yard after unsuccessfully trying to sell them for scrap metal. The explosion left a hole in the roof of the lady’s house.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/25/artefacto-explota-patio-donde-quemaban-basura/

 

Tire flies off car, smashes into motorcycle

A tire that wasn’t put on properly flew off a car in Managua and hit a motorcycle, injuring the riders. Kabam.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/271271-llanta-se-desprendio-vehiculo-lesiono-motociclistas/

 

Pissed off lady throws pot of boiling water on enemiga

Burned lady got some pretty serious burns from pissed off lady after pissed off lady threw a big pot of boiling water on her nether region during an altercation. In addition to the boiling water, she also told her she was telling people in the neighborhood that she’s a drunk and threatened to kill her. Shortly after she also threw a cup of hot soup at her brother. Weapon of choice.
http://100noticias.com.ni/mujer-es-quemada-con-agua-hirviendo-en-leon/

 

Watch this incredible car accident in Matagalpa (nobody died)

Four people who had been drinking early Sunday morning flipped their truck in Matagalpa and it was caught by a security camera. You can clearly see one person flying out of the window. Ouch!
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/272590-camara-seguridad-capta-violento-accidente-matagalpa/

 

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Town Crier: Volcanoes, murder updates and gringa shot. + way more!

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

Top Stories

Zapatera Island statues to be returned after 85 years in captivity in the Smithsonian

Two statues known as the Zapatera Princess and the Lizard will be returned to Nicaragua after being on display for 85 years in the Smithsonian museum in Washington DC. The statues were discovered during a feasibility study for (you guessed it) an interoceanic canal and were promptly scooped up and hauled off.
http://100noticias.com.ni/estatuas-princesa-de-zapatera-y-lagarto-regresaran-a-nicaragua-luego-de-85-anos/

 

Momotombo isn’t done yet

video link here
Leon’s spectacular volcano Momotombo has had a very active week, popping off several times and spewing shots of white hot lava all over its skirt. Authorities say there is nooothing to be afraid of. hmmm…
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/19/volcan-momotombo-mantiene-actividad/

 

American tourist shot in leg during robbery in Managua

So the first lady Rosario Murillo has spent years and millions of dollars to build up Managua’s main tourist attraction, the waterfront. That includes dozens of security guards to make sure all tourists are safe. Well one couple from New York were robbed in the Plaza de Fe by a coupla delinquents and the woman was shot in the leg when the man refused to give up their goods. Needless to say, Rosario Murillo was probably pissed.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/268631-pareja-extranjera-fue-victima-robo/

 

Thieves who shot american tourist caught in record time in Managua

So the first lady Rosario Murillo wasn’t about to let a coupla delinquents get away with robbing a foreign tourist in the Managua’s main tourist attraction. The police cordoned off the entire barrio next to the waterfront and found their thieves in less than two hours. Turns out they lived in public housing supplied by the government. The mother of one of the boys who did it said to the police, “If my son committed the crime, he should pay,” and promptly led the cops to where her son was hiding. So now where is the safest place in Managua for tourists? The waterfront.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/268655-capturan-delincuentes-asaltaron-pareja-extranjeros/

 

Bottom Stories

Cop’s kid gets bike stolen

Bike thief.

Bike thief.

The son of a police official had his bicycle stolen in Managua. Cops later found the bad kids who did it.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/18/le-roban-bicicleta-a-hijo-de-policia/

 

Nicas still burning trash, this time inside the garbage truck

Garbage picker uppers in the town of Ocotal were in for an unexpected bad surprise when all the sudden their garbage truck caught fire. The driver of the truck said that lit cigar ash started the blaze and, whipped up by high winds, the flames smoked the entire truck in a matter of minutes. Nobody was hurt.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/268247-ocotal-camion-recolector-basura-quedo-calcinado/

 

Nicaraguan Festivals and Events: updated version out now

ncx cover mock book v2

The guide to Nicaraguan Festivals and Events has been updated and is now available in PDF or paperback. With more than 200 festivals and events listed, it is the most complete guide to Nicaraguan cultural events out there. And guess who wrote it? Me! So if you like the Town Crier I know you will love this book. Check it out:
http://nicaconexiones.com/ncx-guide-to-festivals-and-events-in-nicaragua/

 

The “Black Widow” is pregnant. But with whose baby?

The Nica girlfriend accused of orchestrating the robbery that resulted in the murder of her Canadian boyfriend Rajan Deedar Gill back in November has announced that she is pregnant. But it isn’t clear if it is her late boyfriend Rajan’s fetus or one of the other lovers she maintained at the time. For those who don’t remember, the “black widow” slipped Rajan a couple of sleeping pills so she and her lovers could rob his home in Diriamba. Unfortunately he woke up and one of the guys clobbered him on the head, killing him dead.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/18/la-viuda-negra-esta-embarazada/

 

Truck flips over after swerving to avoid kid in the street

A truck flipped over in Managua after swerving to miss a kid who had just run out into the street. The kid was okay but the driver was taken to the nearest hospital and the car was left with a nice scratch on the driver’s side.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/267798-se-dio-vuelta-esquivar-nino/

 

Bike thief nabbed, eye promptly blackened

tamalbici

A bike thief in Managua was chased down by the bike’s owner and his buddies who practiced their martial arts skills on his face. The owner was a newspaper salesman in an intersection and the bike thief was a nobody who quickly became very repentant when he was caught.
http://www.tn8.tv/…/267903-no-corre-largo-ladron-bicicleta…/

 

Attempted plane thief gets 9 years

A thief who, with a small group of plane-clothed bandits, attempted to steal an abandoned aircraft from the Managua airport back in 2010 received 9 years in the clink. Their plans were airfoiled and the cops found them toting drugs. Apparently you have to already be pretty high to try and steal a plane from an international airport.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/…/le-niegan-la-libertad-a-hondureno-…/

 

Killers of businessman caught, now in jail

Remember the story about the dead body found in the car in the hospital parking lot in Masaya a few months ago? Turns out he was murdered when an extortion scheme that went sour. The dead man owned a mechanic shop in Managua and one of his mechanics introduced him to an electromechanical engineer that had claimed to have invented an electrical generator that didn’t use any kind of gas or diesel. Somehow these two guys convinced the dead guy to invest $48,000 so they could build this magic machine but failed to deliver. The dead guy became increasingly suspicious until one evening the two guys ambushed him in the shop and konked him on the head. He was found the next day dead in his car in the hospital parking lot in Masaya. Well, they caught the two guys who did it and it turns out, much to our readers’ surprise, that the fueless generator was a hoax.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/17/acusan-y-dejan-presos-a-dos-sujetos-por-asesinato-y-robo-agravado-a-empresario-de-masaya/

 

Jail break plan foiled by police in Matagalpa

Those clever Matagalpanian prisoners. This time they took advantage of all the ruckus from a street parade to try and start a riot, take a guard hostage and escape. The riot police were called in on the double and really all they did was a short-lived riot. They are now all repentant and promise to be good boys and girls for the duration of their time.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/16/frustran-fuga-de-reos-de-policia-de-matagalpa/

 

Hairstylist’s killer caught

Remember reading about the hairstylist who was found dead in his room a few weeks ago? Turns out a guy killed him by smothering him with a pillow. The killer stole his phone and sold it for drug money.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/15/capturan-a-presunto-asesino-de-estilista/

 

Masaya’s Monimbo exhibiting precolumbian art

petro2-750x500

Masaya’s indigenous Monimbo neighborhood is displaying artifacts found in the area as well as offering a new self-guided trail that takes visitors past petroglyphs and carvings. And the whole thing is free!
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/17/departamentales/1987357-exponen-piezas-arqueologicas-en-masaya

 

Police re-inaugurate their direct line: 118

The police have proudly re-inaugurated their direct phone line to make it easy for people to call in emergencies. Just dial 118. They even claim that they have reduced the number of prank calls from 80% to 60% (I am not even joking on that one).
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/267790-agilizan-atencion-emergencias-reinauguracion-linea-118/

 

Weed-slingin granny and her three little weedies busted

weed  granny and weed grandkids

Grandma Mercedes was busted in her tin shack along with her three pot handlin’ grandkids for selling baggies containing prepared portions of the marijuana plant. That’s right, the same marijuana that bad people ignite to inhale the smoke. Who knows where the parents were…probably out slingin pot while granny and the kids gettin busted. Damn.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/17/abuela-y-sus-tres-nietos-capturados-en-expendio-de-droga/

 

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Town Crier: Monkeys falling like rain.

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

 

Top Stories

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

-It was dead. That used to be my favorite joke. Nobody is laughing now that monkeys really are falling out of the trees, and in droves. In a single ranch there have been over 80 dead monkeys counted along with 12 sloths. MARENA (the EPA of Nicaragua) maintains it’s from folks poking them with sticks and throwing rocks but not everybody is convinced. The big question is why are the deer going blind? I have no eyed deer. Any when they can’t walk? Still no eyed deer (my two new favorite jokes).
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/14/departamentales/1986102-siguen-muriendo-monos-congo-en-rivas 

 

Nicarock band nominated for a Grammy

La Cuneta Son Machin was nominated for a Latin Grammy in the category of Best Rock Album for their latest release, “Mondongo”. For those of you who don’t know, mondongo is the udder part of a cow that they boil up in soup. This is a goofy homage to mondongo stew:

So good luck La Cuneta Son Machin. Hope it means at least you get some radio play on the university station now and then.
http://www.tn8.tv/tn8-musical/266738-cuneta-exhibe-entradas-grammy-video/

 

375 couples tie the knots on Valentine’s Day

At the same time, in the same place. It all happened in Managua at the Luis Alfonzo park downtown. How romantic. http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/266758-casan-mas-300-parejas-bodas-ya/

 

Cop drops down a storm sewer during a foot chase

A Managua police officer lost his footing while high tailing it after the bad guys and went tumbling into a 45′ deep storm sewer. He was later rescued and the bad guys, who were wanted for aggravated robbery, were grabbed by the Dantos vigilante group.
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/266751-managua-cae-oficial-policia-cauce-persecucion/

 

75 Nica fishermen detained by Colombia

Colombia detained five Nica fishing boats and 75 crew members for fishing illegally on Serrana island, a sad rock in the middle of the Nowhereyoushouldbbean. That is officially Colombia’s rock, though Nicaragua owns the waters around it. The fishermen claim they were holing up there during a storm and were trying rather unsuccessfully to catch fish so they wouldn’t starve. Now you see why Nicaragua isn’t a major seafood exporter.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/12/pescadores-retenidos-por-naval-de-colombia/

 

Weed forests cut down in Bosawas reserve

The military says that 31,970 marijuana plants have been uprooted from the protected reserve of Bosawas, aka, the lungs of Central America. And that was just in 2015. In 2013 they found 78 thousand plants in just one bust.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/384821-ilicito-sembrar-marihuana-bosawas/

 

Taxi protest in Granada fueled by pirate taxis

You may have noticed a brief pause in taxi and interurban transport services if you were in Granada last week. Seems the city taxi collectives were protesting the rise in illegal pirate taxis that have been stuffing passengers in like clowns in a volkswagen and stealing their business. At one point they slashed the tires of a pirate taxi before the machetes came out and started swinging. Thankfully nobody was hurt and things settled down.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/12/sigue-protesta-de-taxistas-en-granada/

 

Nica girl accused of swindling gringo to get house

A rather upset American man by the name of Kendall has taken the high road and is suing his Nica ex for duping him of $100k. Apparently she pulled the old “estoy embarazada y es tuyo” ploy, taking advantage of the nice guy’s niceness to buy her and her new baby a house in Managua. Kendall later found a facebook post by another guy claiming to be the father and promptly went down to get a DNA test. And guess what. Now Kendall’s phone is blowin up because Montel Williams won’t stop calling.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/12/ex-le-compra-casa-ahora-la-acusa-estafa/

 

Transit police will now return your license to your door!

That’s right, while they will still take your license for a moving violation, the Nicaragua transit police will not require you to pay a visit to the local station to retrieve your license. After March 15 they say they will now deliver your license to your door within 48 hours of paying the fine. Does that work with foreigner’s licenses? Hmm… I guess we will find out. Unless you are one of those that carries a spare C$200 note to pay off the cop when he pulls you over.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/08/nicaragua-elimina-tramite-de-retiro-de-licencias-de-conducir/ 

 

Watch taxi slam into passing motorcycle in Matagalpa

A taxi and a motorcycle getting into a wreck is as Nicaraguan as gallo and pinto.
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/264842-taxista-malmata-motorizado-matagalpa-video/

 

An angry Masaya volcano vents in one family’s backyard

A family in a village called Burned Rock, situated just a toasted stone’s throw from the Masaya volcano, is living on the edge of disaster. They have a volcanic vent that has opened up in their backyard emitting sulfur smoke. Conveniently that is where they now burn their garbage without having to spend money on matches.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/10/respiradero-del-volcan-masaya/

 

Plague of bugs invades Leon villages

EL-plaga-de-insecto-21-750x500

The annual plague of beetles has swarmed over the village of La Ceiba as residents take cover and plug their ears. Residents claim the biting beetles always swarm after the peanut harvest and when they aren’t flying in your face they are crawling in your ears.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/12/departamentales/1984589-1984589

 

Handyman Buttoucher gets a good feeling on the bus

Watch out all you young, firm bottom ladies who might be traveling by bus from Granada to Managua. Mr. Gary Grabbinbottom gave a girl a hand up on the interlocal bus and police are trying to find him. Apparently the girl’s butt is made of metal and the man’s hand was made of magnets which, frankly, just attracted him to her. The girl informed the authorities and the man is on the run.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/10/investigan-supuesto-manoseo-bus-interurbano/

 

Man left paralyzed after falling into manhole on hunger strike to get benefits

A guy in the town of Dolores (which means “pains”) is seeking $50k from the municipal government for lifelong help with his medical bills now that he is paralyzed after falling into an uncovered manhole. The government was kind enough to give him C$4,000 but he says that doesn’t even cover his pills for the month. So now he has taken to the streets in a hunger strike seeking better compensation for what he says the city owes him. And to cover up that damn manhole.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/10/no-vidente-sigue-con-su-protesta-en-carretera/

 

Series of quakes rattles area around Masaya

Three earthquakes between 4.1 and 4.6 shook up the area around the Masaya volcano. The increased seismic activity is linked to the rise in lava in the crater of the volcano. Scientists say this renewed activity could last for years.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/10/fuerte-sismo-alarma-a-la-poblacion/

 

Tree falls in Ometepe

A tree fell over the interisland freeway due to the high winds that have buffeted the island lately. Nobody was injured and locals chopped it up into firewood in no time.
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/265024-cae-arbol-isla-ometepe/

 

11-mo-old girl falls from chair, dies

A baby less than one year old took a tumble from a plastic chair and died in Masaya. She was rushed to the hospital after the fall provoked convulsions but she didn’t make it.
http://www.tn8.tv/uncategorized/265046-ninita-muere-tras-caer-silla-plastica/

 

Man dies digging well

A 35-year-old man was konked on the head after part of the well he was digging caved in on him outside of Leon. He took the side job that was to pay him C$130 and wound up being put into another hole afterward, this one only six feet deep.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/11/muere-dentro-de-pozo/

 

Dog attack kills toddler

A siberian husky went crazy and broke free from his chain to attack a 4-year-old toddler in Villa Japon, Tipitapa. The toddler sustained massive injuries and later died at the hospital. The boy was walking with his mother to buy tortillas when the attack occurred.
http://100noticias.com.ni/mortal-ataque-de-perro-a-nino/

 

Panga driver gets 4 years in the clink

The captain of the panga that flipped over between the Corn Islands last month received the maximum penalty of four years in prison for manslaughter. It was a speedy trial that quickly found him guilty of negligence.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/384795-dictan-cuatro-anos-prision-panguero/

 

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Town Crier: To bester you understanderment of Nica news

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the nicaraguadispatch.com. For entertainment, stay right here. 

face-with-tears-of-joy

Town Crier

face-with-tears-of-joy

Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

 

Top Stories of the week:

People truck flips, injures 25

truck flips in murra, nicaraguaA cargo truck carrying about 55 passengers flipped over on a rural road in Nueva Segovia. According to the news the colectivo transport truck suffered some sort of mechanical failure, apparently sending it toward the cliff edge of the road but thanks to the quick reaction and driving skills of the conductor, the truck drove up the steep wall which rolled it over. The worst of the injuries were suffered by three people including a two-year-old girl. They were taken to the hospital in Ocotal. Coincidentally, the same truck was involved in an accident on the same stretch of road exactly one year ago. That accident left two people dead.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/07/departamentales/1982289-1982289

 

Captain of flipped panga accepts the blame

The captain of the tourist panga that flipped while carrying passengers from Little Corn Island to Big Corn Island has accepted his responsibility of negligence. He took the group of 32 tourists out on a day trip from the big island without getting the military permission required for sea trips. According to the military, they weren’t issuing permissions on that day because of the rough seas. On the return trip, three waves up to 9-feet high crashed broadside into the boat, flipping it over, drowning 13 tourists from Costa Rica. One of the bodies has yet to be recovered.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/06/departamentales/1981867-naufragio-en-corn-island-fue-por-negligencia

 

Coupla young entrepreneurs looking for $100k to put garbage cans on Managua buses

overhead trash binsFinalists of an entrepreneurial contest are looking for $100k to take their idea of overhead garbage bins from the drawing board to the buses in Managua. The guys say that with overhead garbage cans on the 835 buses in Managua they could reduce the garbage on the streets by .0001%. And that’s a start!
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/managua/384249-millonaria-inversion-poner-cestos-buses/

 

NGO director booted out of Nicaragua

Carlos Ponce, the director of the Washington DC-based organization Freedom House, was escorted from his arrival gate to a holding area in a hotel before being sent right back home by immigration officials. The official word was that it was for “administrative reasons”. An official statement from the FH says,

“We are appalled by the Nicaraguan government’s decision to deny entry to Carlos Ponce, and its broader strategy of persecuting human rights defenders,” said Mark P. Lagon, president. “Barring the representative of a human rights organization signals the deteriorating protections for civil society in Nicaragua.”

Freedom House article: https://freedomhouse.org/article/freedom-house-latin-america-director-denied-entry-nicaragua
La Prensa: http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/04/politica/1980679-freedom-house-desnuda-al-regimen-de-ortega

 

Bottom Stories of the week:

Drunk grandpa takes leak in storm sewer, falls in

cauceAn old drunk guy took quite a spill when he pulled out his junk to pee in a storm sewer and fell in. Luckily the junk that had already collected in the storm sewer broke his 12-foot fall and his drinking buddies called for help.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/263457-abuelito-ebrio-cae-cauce-salva-milagro/

 

C$1,000 commemorative Ruben Dario coin to be released

dario moneyA coin commemorating the 100-year anniversary of the death of Nicaragua’s patron saint, Ruben Dario, will be issued in gold and silver. It will have a face value of C$1,000 and you can pick up yours at a Banco Nacional de Nicaragua.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/384230-circularan-nuevas-monedas-conmemorativas-centenari/

 

Drunk guy hits motorcyclist, claims moto driver’s injuries are a “show”

A man driving under the influence of alcohol hit another guy on a motorcycle and then really let him have it while the guy was laying on the ground by claiming he was faking his injuries and putting on a show. The motorcyclist was taken to the hospital and the driver of the car was taken to the cleaners.
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/263232-conductor-colisiona-motociclista-acusa-hacer-show-al-caer-contra-pavimento/

 

Gov’t says monkey deaths are caused by people

The Nica Ministry of Environment (MARENA) says the recent spat of howler monkey deaths have been caused by slingshots and bullets, not by lack of water. There have been 18 monkeys found dead since November, none of which were from the zika virus or any other monkey aids thing that people were speculating about.
http://www.laprensa.com.ni/2016/02/05/departamentales/1981297-marena-advierte-de-caceria-de-monos

 

Buying good stolen from neighboring shops lands merchant in jail

A shopkeeper in the Oriental market is now behind bars for buying from a band of shop thieves who were robbing from neighboring shops. The thieves are still on the loose I suppose.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/07/comerciante-problemas-comprar-computadora-robada/

 

January nets 124 suspensions for driving motos

Since the beginning of the year Nicaraguan police have suspended 124 licenses of motorcyclists, most of them for driving drunk. Other reasons have been for not having license plates and for not having proper documentation. According to the stats, motorcycles make up 27% of vehicles on the road but are involved in 37% of the accidents. Traffic accidents are the fifth largest cause of death in the country, with fireworks accidents, machete accidents and choking on beans rounding up the top ten.
http://www.elnuevodiario.com.ni/nacionales/384229-suspenden-managua-124-licencias-motociclistas-cond/

 

4.3 quake under San Cristobal volcano

A decent sized earthquake rattled Chinandega. Measuring 4.3 and located just 5km under San Cristobal volcano, the tremor didn’t seem to damage anything. Shortly afterward there was a 4.6 recorded in El Sauce (that’s right, the sauce).
http://www.tn8.tv/ultima-hora/262418-fuertes-sismos-chinandega-sauce/

 

Security guard knocks out “Robocop” with bat

The video link is here.
A drunk guy locally known as Robocop was arguing over C$20 with a security guard in the Oriental market when he got more than he was bargaining for. The guard pulled out an aluminum bat and knocked Robocop the far out.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/04/joven-noquea-bebedor-al-pegarle-batazo-la-cabeza/

 

 

Dead people found in places

Hair stylist found dead in his room

The coworkers of a hairstylist who didn’t show up for work in Managua were alarmed and then shocked when they went looking for him and found him dead on the floor of his room. They said he had blankets wrapped around his head and a pillow on top, leading them to think he was asphyxiated. Some people who don’t like their haircut don’t leave a tip. Others, well…
http://www.tn8.tv/cronica-tn8/263200-horrendo-hallazgo-encuentran-muerto-ensangrentado-joven-estilista/

 

Town drunk found dead in the woods

A man known locally as a drunk was found dead in the back woods of Tipitapa. He didn’t show any signs of trauma, except for the fact his liver had been hit pretty hard by the guaro.
http://www.tn8.tv/sucesos/263244-policia-tipitapa-investiga-fatal-hallazgo/

3-year-old found dead in his bed

A three-year-old baby was found dead in his crib the morning after his mother put him to sleep (so to speak). The body was purple and showed signs of rat bites on the fingers and hands.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/05/investigan-muerte-de-nino/

 

Hardware store owner found dead in his home

A 42-year old owner of a hardware store in the Oriental Market was last seen alive on the 31st of January when he was arguing with a woman. The next week he was found dead in his home and had apparently be dead for a while. People who knew him said he had some mental problems.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/07/ferretero-murio-encerrado-en-su-casa-en-el-oriental/

 

Farm worker found dead in a field

A 27-year old farm worker who was an avid drinker was discovered face down and dead in a field in Tipitapa. He had previously been hospitalized for cirrhosis of the liver. That’s a LOT of drinking for only 27.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/07/encuentran-cadaver-en-las-maderas/

 

House cleaner found dead in boss’ pool

A 21-year-old girl from Matagalpa was found face down in the pool of the house she was cleaning in Ticuantepe. The owner of the house left the empleada at the house in the morning and returned to find her dead as a doornail in the afternoon. She had only been working at the house for nine days.
http://www.hoy.com.ni/2016/02/04/asistente-del-hogar-se-ahoga-piscina/

 

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