Town Crier All the news that’s print to fit.

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the For entertainment, stay right here. 


Town Crier


Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:

Top Stories

13 tourists dead after ferry sinks between the Corn Islands

A panga carrying somewhere between 35 – 40 tourists on a day trip from the big island to the little island flipped over in high seas on its return trip yesterday afternoon. 13 people are confirmed dead, all from Costa Rica. The others were rescued. News is still breaking so some conflicting reports are floating about, but what I have heard is that the driver of the panga left from Arena’s Beach Resort without permission since the Navy had suspended issuing sailing permissions due to poor weather. The following link is from CNN in English:


6 dead, 71 injured after bus falls off cliff in the north

  1. Winding road
  2. Brakes don’t work
  3. Driving too fast

That’s a recipe for disaster that was the apparent cause of a bus jumping off a cliff after not being able to navigate a turn on a road in El Guayacal, between Matagalpa and Jinotega. The cliff was small but it was still a cliff. The story also mentions that last year saw 672 deaths by auto accident, an increase of 16.4%. Ouch!


Bottom Stories

C$25,000 stolen from a dead guy from aforementioned bus crash

As if things couldn’t get any w0rse for one of the people that died in the Guayacal bus wreck, a family member reported that someone stole C$25,000 from his person after the crash. Seems the guy was returning from the INSS (Nica social security office) with his cash and documents when the crash happened.


Young woman scammed by lottery sellers on her birthday

A woman from Matagalpa was scammed into losing her things by lottery sellers who tricked her into buying a “winning” ticket, and kindly offered to hold her things while she went to cash it in. When she returned empty handed, the lottery ticket sellers were long gone. Coincidentally it was the woman’s birthday and undoubtedly one she won’t forget.


Coffee bandits caught smuggling 40 sacks to Guatemala

Cocaine? That’s so 1980s. Today the kids are consuming more brown than white and the smugglers are trying to keep up with the demand. A group of coffee smugglers were busted trying to make their way to Guatemala from Nicaragua with two pickups piled high with 20 sacks of stolen coffee each.


Drunk guy falls through hole in sidewalk

Not much to expand on with this one. A man, who was drunk, was walking one night through a neighborhood in Managua and fell through an open hole in the sidewalk. He busted his head up pretty good and was taken to the hospital.


Oldest woman in Cuapa has died at 104

104 years in cuapa

The oldest woman in Cuapa passed away at the ripe old age of 104 years. She left behind 4 children (of whom two had already passed away), 19 grandchildren, 47 great grandchildren and 21 great-great grandchildren (new Spanish word: tataranietos). Her last words after a full life of more than a century of wars, love, hardship and family were, “Put my glasses on me so my eyes don’t look swollen in the photos.”


Hardware store goes up in flames, losses in the millions of cordobas

Neighbors reported hearing an explosion followed by flames engulfing the Padilla hardware store in Managua. Firefighters were able to put the blaze under control without damages to the neighboring structures and nobody was hurt but the owner speculates losses in the millions of cordobas (C$1m = $35,842). Hope he was insured.


Mototaxi gang arrested for string of passenger thefts

A coupla three tough guys from Managua were arrested after running two months of assaults and thefts of their mototaxi passengers in Managua. They mostly relieved their young clients of money and phones after carrying them from the free wifi hotspot in Selim Shible park by pulling out a toy glock. Hahaha…a mototaxi biker gang robbing with toy guns!


Two guys arrested for offering document falsification services

Two guys in Managua who were arrested for falsifying documents and offering their services through social networks are facing up to four years in the clink. They were arrested with several fake documents in their possession after a months-long investigation.


Narcoplane lands in the mud, cops still finding coke a week later


In what would have been one of the top stories for last week (if I hadn’t been too busy saving the world to do the Town Crier last Sunday), a private plane registered in Costa Rica and filled with cocaine belly flopped in a marsh outside of Chinandega. Apparently the packets of coke went everywhere, because this week’s news is that they found five more packets in the area, bringing the total packets of cocaine found to 83.


Grenade found in Somoto

A pineapple grenade probably left over from the 1980s was found on private property in Somoto department. Authorities were called and the military safely removed it from the grounds.


600-year old funeral urn with bones found

bones in urn

Somebody made an exciting archeological discovery in Ciudad Sandino when they unearthed a broken precolombian funeral urn with the remains of a boy inside. The find will be put on display in the Ciudad Sandino museum.


Whirlwind smashes house

A sudden gust of wind, perhaps a dustdevil or a small tornado, blew apart a shack in Palacaguina. Though the occupants were home thankfully nobody was hurt.


Illegal motorcyle racing cost rider his knee

A guy zipping through traffic racing his bike in Condega, Esteli caught up with fate when he crashed into a truck. The impact sheared his knee off. Pixilated photo in the link. Warning: it’s kinda gross.


Managua family finds boa constrictor curled up in their ceiling

A 2-meter boa constrictor was found in the ceiling of a house in Managua leaving the residents with their knees shaking and hair standing on end. A neighbor says it was the third one found in that barrio in three months.   !


Reality show to be filmed in Rio Indio reserve

The dutch reality show “SOS Survive”, which pits men against women to see who is the survivaliest,

will be filming in the wilds of the Rio Indio reserve this year. I have been there. It’s about as jungle as jungle gets.



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