Town Crier: Semana Santa Edition

Insane partying in Nicaragua

Dozens dead.

Hundreds saved.

Jesus rose to the occasion on Easter. Did you?

The Town Crier is a weekly summary of Nicaraguan news stories that can be found online. My contribution is NOT journalism, as can be discerned from the conversational tone and dry humor of my English paraphrasing of the articles in Spanish. This list is by no means comprehensive. In fact I just picked the most relevant,  funny and ridiculous news stories of the week. For real news in English check out the For entertainment, stay right here. 


Town Crier


Here’s what’s been going on in this crazy town for the last week:


Daaamn Casey, you so lazy!

I know, I know, it’s been three weeks since your last Town Crier update. But these last three weeks have been incredibly busy for me and I haven’t had the 6 – 8 hours to read through a weeks-worth of Nica news from the six news sites I scan and then put the newsletter together. But hopefully we are back on track so here it is:

Semana Santa Edition

Top Stories

62 deaths during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

From Sunday to Easter there were an estimated 62 deaths in the country. Broken down that comes out to 27 deaths from traffic accidents, 24 deaths by drowning and 11 deaths by homicide. In total there were 526 traffic accidents registered. I hope your Holy Week was better than theirs was.


250 lives saved by lifeguards during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

Give a high five to a socorrista next time you see one. Over 2,000 volunteers registered 250 lives saved from drowning in Nicaragua during the Holy Week.


2,00,000 people partied in Nicaragua during Semana Santa in Nicaragua

hordes of people peeing in the poolThe first lady Rosario Murillo said that over two million people went on vacation during the Holy Week. Most of them went to the beaches, lakes and rivers of Nicaragua.

Guide to Festivals and Events in Nicaragua, revised and updated

ncx cover mock book v2With over 200+ festivals listed by dates in the guide, you can bet there is something going on somewhere just about any day of the week. Some last one day, some last three months. All are fascinating and a great way to see the real Nicaragua. And by purchasing the guide book you support this newsletter because yours truly wrote the book! Check it out:


Bottom Stories

National Geographic to film documentary about Masaya Volcano

Everybody’s favorite nature/culture/science magazine, National Geographic, will be spending seven days exploring the lava lake in volcan Masaya’s Santiago crater. The national park remains closed to the public due to an increased level of activity.


Fireworks workshop explodes, 3 dead

A homemade fireworks workshop that specialized in rockets to scare away birds from sorghum and corn fields in Tipitapa exploded, completely carbonizing two people. The owner later succumbed to her wounds several days later.


Suicide declared for dead woman found with bag over her head

Blonde haired and blue eyed in Nicaragua, María Angélica Chamorro was considered to be a stunner when she left her home in Managua. That’s where she was found with a bag over her head and slash marks on her wrist in what the police have declared was a apparent suicide.


Ministry of Health sniffs out nearly 28 thousand expired foods

In a Holy Week campaign of good health, the MINSA did inspections of products for sale in stores, restaurants and bars and tossed out 27,898 food products that had expired in over 16 thousand inspections around the country. Now if they can only get those establishments to put seats on the toilets we would be in good shape.


Forest fires!

There were a number of fires out of control this week, and if you were in Managua or Ticuantepe maybe you saw the one up on the hill raging toward El Crucero:

Or the one in Laguna Nejapa on the edge of Managua:

Or up north in Dipilto:

Or down in Nandaime:


Drunk not dead guy mistaken for real dead guy

Im drunk, not dead

A drunk guy who decided to take a nap in a cesspool in a street in Managua started local residents who thought he had fallen in and drowned. Turned out he was just tired and found a comfortable place to snooze in the hot summer sun. Residents pulled him out and laid him down on the sidewalk so he wouldn’t get run over.


Surf photographer gets gear stolen

Story is in English:


Two brothers lost in El Hoyo, one dies

A coupla local brothers took a hike up to El Hoyo and got lost, prompting a search by the red cross. They were eventually found a day or two later (story isn’t clear), and one was suffering from extreme dehydration and later died.


Killer bees go nuts in Monimbo

Masaya’s indigenous barrio of Monimbo became the setting for quite a spectacle when workers from the electric company accidentally disturbed a nest of killer bees. They attacked the workers, passers by, women, children and everyone within a block of where the nest was. Several people including an elderly woman were treated for severe stings.


Jordanian guy admits to intercepting calls, faces years in jail

A guy from Jordan who had been posted up in a local hotel in Managua was face to face with the judge for intercepting and making (?) phone calls illegally. The articles says he owes Claro $34k and Movistar $35k for the crimes, plus up to six years in the slammer.


Police are looking for Van Damme in connection with murder

Cops in Tipitapa are looking for a subject that goes by the name “Van Damme” for his connection with the murder of a woman in El Tima, Tipitapa. Apparently like Van Damme, the guy knows how to split.


Guy on tricycle steals stack of plastic chairs

link to video:

Tipitapa, the city of annoying tricycle taxis, gives us another reason why they are so annoying. This security camera footage shows a triciclero stopping by a hardware store and picking up a dozen plastic chairs…without paying for them. Shop owners still don’t know why this guy hasn’t been caught yet.


Motorcyclist who crashed into motorcycle cop dies under mysterious circumstances

A motorcycle cop and a guy on a motorcycle had a head-on in Esteli which unfortunately took the life of the officer and sent the other guy to the hospital a few weeks ago. The hospitalized man later died in what the family suggests was rather suspicious. The article goes on to say that an armed, unknown man visited the victim several times which alarmed the guard. And just before he died, the nurse who had routinely given him his daily injections said to the family member by the victim’s side that after this injection the man would be in pain and vomit, “just so you know.” That is exactly what happened before the victim died five minutes later. 


Two of three sisters die after bails of hay fall from a passing truck

Two of three sisters passed away after bails of hay flew off a passing truck, crushing them as they were returning home from church. The tragedy happened on km15 of the old Leon highway. Apparently the 17-year-old truck driver had secured the bails of hay with thin ropes which snapped.


Family of five on a moto


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Seen on the way between Chinandega and Somotillo.


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